I am so so pleased with the unfolding of yesterday’s workshop. FINALLY! Came together so beautifully. Wonderful mix of people, all of whom really showed up fully, with courage and heart and willingness.
Started the day with Tonya’s “Talk Dirty to Me” workshop, which was great. Got the motor running. Discovered the secret to sexy talk – in a nutshell, tell ‘em what you are doing (ie “I’m sitting on your face” or whatever you happen to be doing at the moment) and tell ‘em what you want to do (as in “I want to lick you from front to back with some detours along the way”). And don’t be afraid to stop in the middle and say “This isn’t working! I feel like a tuba!”
My workshop had the benefit of having gotten to practice up at Breitenbush a few days before, and allowed me to really discover what works and what doesn’t. I felt well prepared going in (except for the music – that’s a whole ‘nother story) having thought about this workshop almost non-stop for weeks and weeks. Which perhaps seems strange, given it was only a three hour event, but truly, this feels like the path I’m really meant to be on. This is my life’s work, and I want so very much to be good at it. Not so much for ego (though I suppose that’s always there) but to help people crack open their sexual reserve and discover the juicy molten core within (to mix a metaphor).
I feel like I’m discovering with every workshop the possibilities of the form. Games and exercises that allow people to connect in an intimate, and yet not physical way. To stimulate the imagination, but not dispel the state of arousal with another person. Chanel that energy into the creative act, whether that be writing or creating a scene or telling a story.
Yesterday’s workshop was a cross section of ages and sexes and sexual preferences, from the professional dominatrix who’s good with rope to the married man who’s only been with 2 women in his life and comes from a church most would describe as ultra conservative. And yet, they PLAYED together! They created a scene! People shared their stories, and wrote fantasies based on their partners experience. I tried out a new game – Lover, May I? – that was the perfect combination of edgy and hilarious.
At the end, when everyone had a chance to share the letter they’d written to or from their Erotic Self, I nearly wept. So many shares about how their erotic self never gets seen by anyone anymore, or has been in hibernation for years. I want to provide a safe and sexy place where that self is invited in, and gets to sit at the table, not just wait in the spare bedroom. So what if you don’t have a lover, or a lover who’s interested in playing – I want to make a space where all kinds of people can acknowledge one another’s sexuality without any obligation to fuck them (though you never know who you might meet).
I’m super jazzed and grateful for the opportunity to be doing this work. I can’t wait to do more of it.